{ Fernando Horta } → Formula Duude

For all those souls who prayed for the return of the Press Conferences, here we go! Our brave duudes faced the press at Monaco and the result could not be better! Questions were presented and answered on a pre-arranged order where E=MC² and A=Alfa, making it Tib first, followed by LSSard, Dave, Yens and Shak.

Have a good read!

Driver TIB:
(Johnny B - Good Morning News) - Welcome back to Monaco, Tib. Given you won the only FD race ever contested there, do you see yourself as the one to be beaten?
Thanks for the welcome, which way are the casinos, again ? Anyway, is pretty good to be back at the Casino Night Zone, for Act2. I don't know if i can call myself a favourite for the victory, but i really wouldn't mind winning here again, it's a special race, a very special track, and the team is working very hard to give me a car that can fight for victories. So, i don't really know if i'm the one to be beaten, but i sure hope to do some beating myself. Beat it, beat it, noone wants to be defeated. Ooooooooooooooo.

(Jim Bob - Redneck Racing TV) - Last race for your FD04 car, have you brought any improvements to Monaco or do you believe the car is quick enough for the race win?
We are always improving the car, even if it's just by cleaning it, because our scientists dudes have proven that clean cars go faster. But for this race specifically, we will be a running a heavy aero package, not as heavy as Shaka's package, but he is carrying a LOT more weight on the car. Hopefully our last upgrades will be the best yet. And also, we got some good input from Mark Webber after his lap with the FD04, and we might appli some of the knowledge he brought from that smaller series F-1.

(Bob Billy Bob’s Sisters, boyfriend, brothers, friend, Bob – Formula Duude Plus) – Before i ask anything, i must ask, is the hot intern chick available? Anyway, looking forward to this race? You going out all guns blazing?
Sorry Bob, i don't think she is, not really sure though, noone in the factory speaks teenagerish, so we're just assuming she is seeing what she refers as "a hot, like totally hot, guy", but we're not really sure.
Yes i am looking forward to the race, specially since looking backwards is still impossible, but yeah, i'm looking forward to the race, and i won't go all out, because that, in Monaco, means DNF, but i'm going all in. *Texas Hold'em style*

(Jean Orly Guy - Le Gazetté de Desportés): Oui monsieur Tib! Zey saying dat you 'ave les chancés to take àvàntàgé from les obesidés penalités ballastiers from monsieur Le'Shac en la Monaco. 'ave you considerré la possibilité to marquée la pole-posité, running a dominé race zis time?
Yeah, we know that a narrow and slow track like MonteCarlo is not the best track to take advantage from the extra weight Shaka will be carrying, but we are also racing Lizard and the LSS boys (and dragons) for the 2nd place on the table, so doing the pole position is something that crossed my mind, yeah, and hopefully, i will grab it. ôôôôôô, pole position! ôôôôô, pole position! Pole Position, from Atari, it will leave skidmarks on your soul.
-- Thanks everyone.

Driver LIZARD:
(Nazgûl - DragonTV) - Are you going to build up on the last results and put a strong charge for the title?
What's this title everyone keeps talks about?

(Kram Rod - Whiptee Motorsport) - Congratulations on your faaantastic pair of wins last race, are you confident you can do the same next race?
Thanks. This weekend will be hard, it will be a great challenge and i cant wait for it!

(Alan Connection - HighTech Magazine) - Welcome to Monaco, Lizard, how are you feeling about this race ? LSS Racing has a lot of momentum, and i'm sure you guys will be trying to gain advantage from it, do you consider yourself the second force on this FD season ?
Rather tired atm, these questions are sending me to sleep, nap time, zzzzzzzz...

(Badd Mann - The Macho Sports Tribune): D'YOU THINK YOU CAN SCORE THIS CHAMPIONSHIP, HIGHLANDER?
Err, i dont know what to say to that, errr......i evah on aedi!

Driver DAVE:
(Unknown kid wearing a hat at the back of the room) - Hey you, I saw your stats. You suck...
Good rethorical point. Next.

(Zippy Deeeees - Unspecified) - Do you need more to drive for you? Your looking pretty pale.
I'm considering a carreer change. Maybe I'm more useful driving a "Ice Cream Truck". But, so far, Tyrant pays me a nice wage; I have a monthly 12-pack of Duff and I can even use the Internet at the facilities. They've said that Burger King is hiring some toilet cleaners, I'm kinda of confused right now...

(Mike Litoris - The S EXcellent News) - Dave, with the aid of the new technology partner ship with FPS developers do you think you can score your first win this season? You got some good results on Richmond and you're yet to capitalize on your strenght of ovals this season, think you can do it on this narrow street course?
Actually, I didn't got some good results at Richmond. You guys got some bad results! As long as you're keeping scoring bad, I'll be scoring... medium? Remember, I'm just a regular, everyday normal motherfucker... As for Monaco, blergh! I hate Monaco. I hate faggy-tracks from F1. I hate you fags from F1. I hate F1. Seriously, NASCAR is the real deal. Until now, I was a flair-player, no, well... I was a flare-player... I mean, a fair-player, like you guys from Libra. But now... heheheheheheheheheheheh... *sarcastic-looking* You guys will remember of this moment. "Dave, you Suck! Dave, you look pale! Dave, you're scum! Dave, etc etc!". Let's what you'll talk when a... tragic accident happens at those narrowed corners!!! What a horrible track for you guys to have a curse! heheheheheheheh!

(Bob Billy Bob’s chav friend - Formula Duude Plus) – Oi mate, do you think you could get that wheel derk cheap for me maaaate, its only ive got no squid, you know.
Ahoy matey! Just because yer talkin' that australian accent, I can help you to find your "squid". Is it a pokemon or something? I... I... like australia! Mike Dundee, Outback, it gives you plus 2 armies when conquered at Risk board games; that rock that Akuma punches... I really love australia. Come to Brazil. Caipirinha, mulatas, Pelé, Samba, sex, bunda, ass, gostosas! It's paradiso!!!!!

Driver JENSKLEMP:
(Paperhead - RADAXIANETTA DELLO SPORT) - You started your FD career on a high, finishing second twice. What are your views on this fantaaastic series?
The team and I could not be happier with the results of the first race.  However, we have yet to see how the car behaves on a track with some more... realistic corners.  Our whole team is ecstatic about breaking into this world class series and find it is much more suited to the team then was Formula 1.

(Eva Gina - FDupdate.not) - First of all, do you prefer Jens or Jensk ? I've seen both ways (hmmmmmm) and i want to know the right way of saying it. Onto the question. The HRT team was struggling on the smaller series, collecting a lot of bad results and usually hanging on the back of pack, now at your first races at FD, you already got to the podium and seems to be competitive, what do you think it's the reason for such a drastic change ? Also, are you expecting to collect more sponsors during the season ? Lastly, why is the car so ugly? Looks like it's made of led, it's that of reference to zepellin ? Are you a Meryl Strip, sorry, Jimmy Page fan ?
Good afternoon Eva!  I go by Jens (pronounced Yens).  Our team has been working hard to impress our big sponsor Triple Z Inc. Co. Ltd., I have to say I was surprised by the results of the last race.  Due to it being a oval track we didn’t have to rely on our lack of aero (still a problem just as it was in the smaller series).  We won’t know the true pass of the car until we hit the streets of Monaco.  We have also stopped development on this car and will be looking for solid finishes in the LMP class.  We are hoping to attract new sponsors, hopefully one that can make the car very good looking. As for the car looking ugly, them team felt it was not necessary to go overboard on the cars paint job.  With only two races left we decided to focus on the new car that will be taking over the FD04.OW.  Thank you for your questions, have a nice day!

(Bob Billy Bob Jnr– Formula Duude Plus) – How was your first race, did you enjoy it? Since you have no weight here (Monaco) do you think you’ll run away with the win?
The team has been hard at work to settle into this new series and we all enjoyed the Richmond race.  We can’t make any predictions of what Monaco will bring to us.  It’s still a new car to us and we have had no testing on proper street circuits yet.  The team is working hard to give me a winning car and I will try my best to win it for them.

(Cody Hackins - The Geeker Nerdest Shrine of GTR2 Portal): y0 J3n5!!! h0w j00 u f331 4b0ut r4cin6 47 m0n4c0? ROFLMAO! 15 F0rmu14-D0000d3 4 nic3 p14c3 70 574y? LULZ W00T!
Right.... next.  Something something monaco very fun, learn to speak english please. Good bye.

Driver SHAKA:
(Telapia Fross - vrOOOOOOm TV) - With the poor finish last race, do you still see yourself winning this championship title?
Yeah, the team is putting a lot of effort on it, we're going for Monaco with a new aero package even if it's the FD04.OW swansong. I'm going for it!

(Kent Comeu - Metropolis Post) - Coming back to the Monaco, the place where you won your first championship, must feel good, i believe ? What are your expectations for the race ? Do you think this race can be a turning point for the Magic:TheDuudering Team ?
First off, it's amazing to be back here. The race itself was a crappy one, I crashed on the turn before tunnel twice and retired with permanent suspension damage on my Toledoman. For this race I plan to run a higher downforce setup, putting a string of fastest laps before stopping for tyres. Not sure if I'll need some fuel, but I hope I don't. And MtGFD must be back on winning days, yeah!

(Bob Billy Bob – Formula Duude Plus) – Dont you think Lizard is crap, are you gonna wipe the floor with him this weekend? If you cant beat him will you take him out?...for me? I can get you a good hooker? No?
Sorry Bob Billy Bob, Lizard seems to be on a high. If I beat him, it will be for me. We offered Shivan in sacrifice for Principle Dragon, and the Elder Dragon Legends want Principle Dragon for lunch next monday, I'm willing to give them this gift!

(Mrs. Hu - The New President of DEMOCRATIC Republic of China): Art thou thinking that I'm letting thou spend China's precious time with this foolish "racing with duuuudes"? Thou art "ironned", Fernando!
Oh no, no!! Please Mrs. Hu, don't take my fun away!! See, racing with my duuudes is all that's left of my nerdish life, pleeeeease don't take my last breath of geeky life away! Talking about being ironned, did you iron my shirts? *wink, run and fades away*