2007 Audi Sport N.America issued a press release this morning that reads as follows:
Terry Borcheller took the checkered flag at the Adelaide Street Circuit after 78 laps and nearly two hours of intense racing, comfortably securing overall victory in the #08 Aston DBR9. However, the true outcome of our team's campaign was decided 76 laps earlier when Fernando Horta parked the #01 Audi R10 TDI after completing exactly two laps.
Rewinding to the green flag, Horta launched smoothly off the grid, advancing from ninth place on lap one to fifth position by lap two. Having conclusively proved that the #01 prototype possessed competitive forward momentum, management deemed further running entirely redundant.
James Hetfield (Guest Technical Consultant): We analyzed the engine mapping during the second lap and decided that while we had fuel and fire, continuing for another 76 laps was uninspired. Nothing else matters when you have already peaked on lap two.
The team firmly dismisses rumors of mechanical collapse or driver apathy. Retiring on lap two was a deliberate efficiency measure designed to preserve engine life, tyres, and driver energy. While Mr. Borcheller spent 1:47:11.865 working around the concrete walls, Mr. Horta had already showered, changed into civilian attire, and departed the paddock.
Ps. Liz, the pit wall is far too quiet without you.
