*Microphone feedback shrieks as lukewarm Swedish filter coffee spills across the press room desk.*
The post-race press conference at Anderstorp Raceway descended into pure paddock drama following the brief three-lap GT2 Porsche GT3-RS sprint.
(Rita Gossip - Paddock Confidential): Fernando, Marc Lieb took victory for Freisinger Motorsport by 3.604 seconds today in the #50 Porsche. Is it true your Marlboro team is blaming the Swedish runway surface, or did Marc simply put on a clinic with his 1:35.352 fastest lap?
Fernando Horta: Look, my 1:35.847 was a very respectable lap on an old airfield. The car was sliding, the tyres were screaming, and frankly, Lieb drives like a computer programmed by overly strict German accountants. There is no joy in his steering!
(Shooter McGavin - Marlboro Performance Director): Let me interject right there! Fernando drove like a champion today! The guy eats chaps like Marc Lieb for breakfast! Second place is just a strategic positioning manoeuvre for the championship, okay? You gotta hit it off the glass!
(Sven Rumour - Auto Express Sweden): Shooter, we actually intercepted the team radio from lap 2. Care to comment on this transcript?
Horta (#11 crew): Is that Lieb ahead or did someone park a silver refrigerator on the runway?
Engineer: Focus Fernando, he is three tenths quicker through the long carousel.
Horta (#11 crew): Tell him his rear wing looks cheap. I bet he drinks tap water.
Engineer: Just steer the car, Fernando.
(Clara Snicker - Pitlane Whispers): Moving down the order, Mike Jordan grabbed P3 for Team Eurotech despite a best lap of 1:38.380, holding off Tony Burgess in P4 and Christophe Geoffroy in P5 who were separated by less than half a second! How chaotic was that fight behind you?
Shooter McGavin: Chaotic? Burgess and Geoffroy were playing mini-golf back there! Meanwhile, Christian Ried managed P8 in the #69 Proton car despite setting a 1:36.589 lap! That is what I call absolute administrative tragedy! Now if you media clowns will excuse us, Fernando and I have a 2:00 PM tee time.
(Bridget Tattle - GT Daily): One last question, Fernando—Horst Felbermayr finished P7 just behind Stephane Daoudi. Did you see any of their late-race tussle?
Fernando Horta: I was far too busy staring at Lieb's rear wing and contemplating my life choices. Press conference over!
Ps. Liz, if you are reading this, please send proper pastries to the pit garage because the Scandinavian media center only provided dry toast.
