*The garage doors at Sebring International Raceway groan open to reveal a Corvette C6-R sitting majestically upon four square wheels, while team engineers desperately sweep up an entire shelf of discarded suspension bolts.*
Corvette Racing issued a press release this morning that reads as follows:
Corvette Racing Directorate: Formal notice is hereby served to the FormulaDuude Organization, the track authorities of Sebring, and plate tectonics in general. Following Thursday's nine-lap endurance test across concrete slabs originally laid down during the Second World War, the #63 Chevrolet Corvette C6-R GT2 entered by our team has suffered catastrophic emotional damage. While Fernando Horta managed to drag the battered chassis to a respectable fourth-place finish with a blistering 2:05.987 best lap—out-pacing several factory-backed entries and nearly collecting Sol Leung's winning Lamborghini on pure acceleration—we maintain that the track surface violates all known laws of dentistry. Furthermore, our chief strategist, Avatar of Hope, has tapped five mana to cast a Holy Day across the entire pit lane, preventing any further mechanical breakages until the team mechanic finds a functioning socket wrench. Any suggestion that our drivers enjoyed bouncing three feet into the air over the Sunset Bend transition is malicious slander.
The nine-lap feature across the bumpy airfield asphalt proved to be a war of attrition where survival meant everything. Sol Leung took overall victory for Reiter Engineering in his Lambo with a total time of 0:19:20.453, fending off Al Marimon's charging Mustang. Bruno Said rounded out the podium in the Flying Lizard Porsche, leaving Horta to cross the line just fractions of a second behind in fourth, narrowly beating out Chris Moses and Andrew Werner in a frantic mid-pack scramble.
Despite the chiropractic bills, the team remains steadfast in its pursuit of championship points, provided Avatar of Hope stays tapped and the spare parts arrive from customs before next Thursday's lights out.
