36. That is the exact number of screaming, smoke-spewing classic machines unleashed onto Daytona International Speedway for twenty laps of pure madness, and WE ARE ABSOLUTELY LOSING OUR MINDS HERE, DUUUUUDES!
RED LIGHTS FLASH ACROSS THE SCREEN AS PYROTECHNICS SINGE THE COMMENTARY DESK
Galvão Bueno (Lead Commentator): GOOOOOOAL! NO, WAIT, GREEN FLAG! WE ARE RACING AT DAYTONA, DUUUUUDES! Look at Ingo Zeitz flying the #82 Porsche 911 RSR into history! Twenty laps of absolute, mind-melting speed, and he takes the overall victory in 0:19:15.930! Claus Damgaard pushed hard in the #84 DeTomaso Pantera, but Zeitz is untouchable! And our brave duude Fernando Horta? Well, he managed exactly ONE lap in the #56 Shelby Daytona Coupe before his suspension said FUCK OFF MAN and he parked it to check out the souvenir stands!
Flavor Flav (Co-Commentator): YEAH BOY! Clock in, clock out! Fernando punched that timecard on lap one and went straight for the hot dog vendor! YEEEEAAAH!
Samuel J. Lackson (Analyst): I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking banking! Ingo Zeitz drove that Porsche like he stole it from a German bank! Meanwhile, Horta is out here collecting suspension pieces like they are Pokémon cards!
COMMERCIAL BREAK: TASTE THE PAIN OF RADIAL LESTE TRAFFIC WITH BRAHMA BEER — IT GOES DOWN SMOOTH EVEN WHEN YOUR CAR EXPLODES ON LAP ONE!
Galvão Bueno: WE ARE BACK! Look at Claus Damgaard taking second place, 12 seconds back! And Peter Muecke rounding out the podium in third aboard the #89 Ford Capri RS! But let us not forget Bill Shepherd putting that #72 Ford Falcon fourth overall and dominating TC65! Meanwhile, Horta is currently writing angry letters to Shelby American about suspension metallurgy!
Flavor Flav: Tick tock, baby! That #56 car is lighter by zero laps now!
Samuel J. Lackson: English, motherfucker, do you speak it? Because Horta's telemetry just says 'lol suspension gone'! Magnificent!
Galvão Bueno: WHAT A RACE, WHAT A DAY, WHAT A DISASTER FOR OUR BRAVE DUUDE! THE SAGA CONTINUES NEXT TIME!
Ps. Moustache
