GALVÃO BUENO: LAAADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE ARE LIVE FROM DAYTONA AND IT IS ABSOLUTE PURE MADNESS! Look at the #52 Porsche flying! Fernando Horta is leading the pack, he is touching the sky, he is a totozinho away from glory!
ROBERTO: Galvão, calm down, he just parked it on lap 10 with a broken suspension! He is eating a hot dog in the garage!
GALVÃO BUENO: SILENCE, ROBERTO! OUR BRAVE DUUDE WAS DESTINED FOR IMMORTALITY BEFORE THE SUSPENSION GAVE UP! INGO ZEITZ TAKES THE VICTORY IN THE PORSCHE, 21 LAPS OF PURE SPEED, BUT OUR HEART LIES IN THE TRASH CAN!
*commercial break noise plays: BRAHMA BEER, FOR WHEN YOUR SUSPENSION EXPLODES IN FLORIDA*
ROBERTO: And now, joining us live in the media pen, Executive Director Eurico Maluf to explain this disaster.
EURICO MALUF: Caspita! Gara! The car was wonderful until it was terrible! For dios mio, we brought smuggled parts from Radial Leste and they failed us!
*press gaggle murmurs*
Catano Meow (Purrfect Racing News): Executive Director Maluf, do you honestly believe a Porsche can survive American potholes?
EURICO MALUF: Bravissimo, excellent question! We blame the pelicans! Big birds, very aggressive suspension eaters!
Barking Bob (K9 Speed Hound): Is Horta blaming his grandmother's driving style for the DNF?
EURICO MALUF: Silence, dog man! The council will now take a three-month nap to review this outrage!
GALVÃO BUENO: UNBELIEVABLE SCENES HERE AT DAYTONA! ZEITZ CELEBRATES, MUECKE TAKES SECOND, HAAS IS THIRD, AND HORTA IS SEARCHING FOR LOST LUGGAGE!
Ps. Davinci: Davinci, where are you?! We needed you to fix the suspension with duct tape!
