Can a team win a five-lap sprint entirely on logistics paperwork and yellow paint? DHL Racing answered with a resounding affirmative on Thursday afternoon as Emmanuel Collard steered his #33 Porsche GT3-RSR to victory in the GTR2 encounter at Donington Park, covering the five-lap distance in six minutes and fifteen seconds.
Collard was in a league of his own across the Leicestershire circuit, stopping the clock on his personal best at 1:14.813 to leave teammate Tim Sugden five seconds adrift in the sister #34 Porsche. Sugden held off Alexei Vasiliev's Freisinger Motorsport machine by just over two seconds to secure the runner-up spot, though the Russian driver salvaged third in class after a tidy run.
Down the order, Fernando Horta's afternoon in the #02 SEGA Porsche GT3-RSR lasted all of one lap before a sudden retirement brought an abrupt halt to the Brazilian's campaign. Scuderia Libra Team Principal Skinner, observing the monitors from the pit wall with a vacant stare, offered a characteristically bewildered assessment of the garage's strategy.
Team Principal Skinner (Scuderia Libra): "We parked the car because the wheels were round, or perhaps because they were not round enough. Honestly, if the steering wheel turns, I consider it a bureaucratic success. Did we win? No? Then give me more biscuits."
With only five laps completed across the board, the field packed up quickly and headed for the warmth of the hospitality units, leaving the timing screens to blink empty in the damp English air.
Ps. Lost and found in the Donington paddock: one left driving shoe, a half-empty tin of Marmite, and a laminated instruction manual on how to operate a windscreen wiper.
