Fernando Horta won the St. Petersburg sprint race by three seconds over Rodrigo Flores, though everyone in the paddock is whispering about what happened in the hospitality tent last night.
Fernando Horta (Driver): Look, the Gillet Vertigo was screaming the whole way through ten laps of Florida asphalt. Rodrigo tried to stick his nose where the sun don't shine around lap six, but I kept my foot down and ignored the radio chatter entirely. Frankly, I only came here for the free juice box anyway.
Alan Donatellofson (Crew Chief): *sighs heavily into his headset* Brilliant, Fernando. You brought the car home first. Now would you please pick up your empty cups from the pit wall before I make you push this twitchy French frog all the way back to the truck?
Ps. Dave, if you are reading this from wherever you lost your passport, your parking spot has been turned into a very confused potted fern.
