*screaming violently into a dead microphone while waving a half-eaten cannoli*
The Interlagos media centre descended into total gossip and chaos after MASTER's G2 SEAT Toledo GT somehow completed 21 laps to humiliate the entire GT1 supercar field.
(Chicane Fifi - Paddock Gossip Daily): Fernando, darling, you set a blistering 1:30.555 in your Budweiser Lamborghini—faster than GT1 winner Karl Wendlinger—and then retired on lap five! What really happened?
Fernando Horta: Tactical efficiency, my dear. Why waste tyres doing 20 laps when five laps prove I was the fastest man in São Paulo? I shall let our pit wall radio speak for itself.
[Budweiser Team Radio - Lap 5]
Horta (#09): "I just dropped a 1:30.555! We are untouchable today!"
Crew: "Fernando, you are trailing a massive black smoke cloud into Descida do Lago."
Horta (#09): "That is just my aura."
Crew: "No, that is gearbox fluid on hot exhaust. Park the car immediately."
(Gigi Volante - La Gazzetta dello Duude): President Luca di Guevara, Karl Wendlinger won the GT1 class for JMB Racing, but finished behind a SEAT Toledo overall. Are you satisfied?
President Luca di Guevara: Caspita! Che vergogna! I do not care about 'GT1 class trophy', bravissimo my eye! We lost overall to a Spanish hatchback! For dios mio, gara is about WINNING! If I see a Toledo ahead of my Ferrari again, heads will roll!
(Uruguayan Whispers Outlet): Fernando, Juliano Flores brought his Morgan Aero 8 home in P9. Any thoughts on his drive?
Fernando Horta: He survived 19 laps in a wooden canoe while I relaxed with a cold beverage in the shade. You tell me who the real mastermind is.
Ps. Liz, where are you?! We needed your magic setups for the S do Senna!
