Is a two-car race down the Corkscrew a dramatic heavyweight duel for the championship, or is it just two lonely Vipers making a lot of noise in the California dust?
The answer came after eight laps of desolation at Mazda Raceway Laguna Seca, where Fernando Horta (#01 Lotus FD Team) dominated the Sprint race, taking the victory by a massive 14.258 seconds over Juliano Flores (#29 Scuderia Libra) in an identical Viper Competition Coupe. Horta set a best lap of 1:28.895 to secure 7 points and close the gap in the drivers' standings, leaving Flores to contemplate a distant second place with a best lap of 1:30.703. Despite the defeat, Scuderia Libra maintains their lead in the Teams' Championship, while the Lotus garage spent the entire race radio transmission in a state of absolute existential despair.
Horta (#01): Where is everyone? I only see one car in my mirrors, and he looks like he's stopping for a picnic at Turn 4.
Robert (#01 crew): He is Uruguayan, Fernando. He is probably preparing mate in the cockpit. We are all alone in this dry, dusty desert. Everything is fading. Adjust your brake bias. Or don't. It doesn't matter in the end.
Horta (#01): The Corkscrew is incredibly bumpy today. I think I chipped a tooth. Why did we set the suspension so stiff?
Robert (#01 crew): We set it to mirror the rigid, unyielding despair of human existence. Also, we lost the wrench. Just drive. You are ten seconds ahead. It is a hollow victory in a cold, uncaring universe.
Horta (#01): Ten seconds? Juliano must have spun. Or maybe he's driving in reverse.
Robert (#01 crew): He did not spin. He is simply contemplating the futility of chasing a loud American V10. He just did a 1:30.703. The gap is widening, much like the distance between our dreams and reality.
Horta (#01): Can you stop reading poetry and tell me if the front-left tyre is going to survive? It feels like warm jelly.
Robert (#01 crew): It is disintegrating. Much like our youth. Do you want to pit? We have some stale crackers and some lukewarm water we found under the passenger seat.
Horta (#01): No, I'm not pitting in an eight-lap race! I'm taking the chequered flag. Tell the boys to put a can of Brahma on ice.
Robert (#01 crew): There is no ice, Fernando. Only black coffee, melted eyeliner, and sadness. The boys left to watch a real race. It is just me here in the dark garage.
Horta (#01): Unbelievable. I just crossed the line. I won! Give me some enthusiasm on the radio, please!
Robert (#01 crew): *Sighs* Yay. You won. Now we have to pack the spare tyres in the dark. Please come back. It is so cold here.
Ps. Mansell, please return the 12mm torque wrench. Robert is getting very dramatic and we need to lock the toolbox.
