Lotus F1 Team issued a press release this morning that reads as follows:
Rasputin, Mystic Tactician (Team Consultant): By the seven black stars of the cosmos, the mystical aura surrounding our Lister Storm at Circuit de Barcelona-Catalunya was deeply disturbed by dark forces in the timing tower! We foresaw twenty-one laps of supreme dominance, yet our brave duude Fernando Horta found himself mired down in P13 after twenty laps of relentless chasing, whilst Jamie Campbell-Walter took the spoils for Lister Racing with a blistering 0:36:38.026 total time. We formally protest the alignment of the moon, which clearly favored the #14 Lister over our machinery. Furthermore, Rasputin demands that all subsequent sessions be preceded by the chanting of ancient incantations to ward off gearbox demons and rogue Vipers, such as Mike Hezemans' #05 machine which sneakily claimed runner-up spot.
Meanwhile, the pit lane crackled with frantic radio traffic as the mechanics tried to decipher the mystic's demands:
Mechanic (#01 crew): Rasputin is burning sage in the intake manifold again! Turn it off!
Fernando Horta (#01): Just tell me if the tyres are still round, man! We are losing seconds to the Saleens!
Mechanic (#01 crew): Round? Mostly! But the spirits say P13 is our destiny today!
Behind the dominant Jamie Campbell-Walter, Mike Hezemans steered his Chrysler Viper to second ahead of Peplepep, while Marc Lieb quietly conquered the GT2 class in his Porsche, leaving the rest of the field to wonder what mystical force would strike next at the Catalan circuit.
