Haaaaaaaave mercy! He crosses the line! Thirty-one laps of pure, flat French asphalt completed in twenty-nine minutes and eleven seconds! Pierguiseppe Perazzini wins Magny-Cours in the Megadrive Chrysler Viper! Now, rewind this tape. Let us look at the absolute tragedy.
Lap thirteen. Look at that smoke. That is the yellow Saleen S7-R of Fernando Horta. It is stopped. Dead. It is over for the USSR Lotus Team. Again. A short thirteen-lap campaign.
Clueless Co-commentator: Yes, Galvão, I think he stopped because he ran out of track, or perhaps his tires are made of French cheese. It is a very complex strategy to stop the car when the engine is on fire.
Galvão: Brilliant analysis. Truly. But first, a quick word from our sponsor: Are your valves clicking? Try Tabajara Engine Honey! It fills the gaps so your piston rings do not have to!
Now let us look at the Losel Racing pit garage, where guest crew chiefs are reacting to the Saleen collapse.
Samuel J. Lackson (Losel Racing): YES THEY DESERVED TO DNF AND I HOPE THEY BURN IN HELL! I am talking about these French spark plugs! They are completely useless!
Flavor Flav (Losel Racing): YEAH BOYEEEEEE! Look at the giant clock! Horta only lasted thirteen laps! That is barely twelve minutes of run time! Time is up, Seleção!
Meanwhile, Boris Derichebourg brings the JMB Ferrari 550 home in second place, thirteen seconds behind the leader. Uruguayan legend Juliano Flores takes third, one lap down.
Clueless Co-commentator: Is Uruguay near Paris, Galvão?
Galvão: Shut up, Mauricio.
