Jamie Campbell-Walter won a bizarre, five-lap race at the Autódromo di Pergusa while Fernando Horta took third place amidst a complete statistical blackout.
Galvão (Lead Broadcaster): BIEEEEEEEN AMIGOS DA REDE FDTV! We are live from Sicily, where the sun is hot, the track is fast, and the lake is looking... extremely suspicious! Look at Jamie Campbell-Walter! He is not driving, he is piloting a space shuttle! A Lister Storm LMP with a 1:29.120! That is not a lap time, that is a warp drive! HAAAJAAAA CORAÇÃO!
Doc Brown (Co-commentator): Great Scott, Galvão! The temporal displacement on that LMP car is off the charts! If my calculations are correct, when that Lister hits 141 kilometers per hour through the chicane, we're going to see some serious, highly illegal aerodynamic shit! But wait... where is the second-place car? My Flux Capacitor is registering a complete void between first and third!
Galvão (Lead Broadcaster): OLHA O CALCULO! There is no P2! The timing screen is empty! Did he fall into the Pergusa lake?! Did he stop to buy some Sicilian cannoli?! Unbelievable! But behind this mystery, here comes Fernando Horta in the #01 Lister Storm! He is battling the laws of physics and his own gearbox! He crosses the line in third with an 8:14.134! That is a podium, amigos! *punches the desk* A PODIUM IN THE LAND OF THE MAFIA!
Doc Brown (Co-commentator): He survived! Though his best lap of 1:35.266 suggests his time circuits were severely damaged by the curb-hopping! He was nearly six seconds slower per lap than Campbell-Walter! That's mathematically equivalent to driving a 1946 Packard!
Galvão (Lead Broadcaster): *breathless* Who cares about the Packard! Look at the dogfight behind him! Jean Louis Schlesser in the #00 is breathing down his neck! Andrea Piccini is right there in the #15! Mika Salo is throwing his #57 into the chicane like a crazy Finn! It is a totozinho festival! Only four seconds separating third from sixth! Piccini finishes just three-tenths behind Schlesser! WHAT A FINISH!
[FDTV COMMERCIAL BREAK: Buy Brahma Beer! The only beer fermented in the trunk of a '72 Brasília! Drink responsibly, or at least don't tell the Race Director!]
Galvão (Lead Broadcaster): We are back! Campbell-Walter wins it! Horta is P3! Schlesser P4, Piccini P5, Salo P6! But the mystery of the missing second place remains! Doc, can we go back in time to find P2?!
Doc Brown (Co-commentator): Roads? Where we are going, we don't need roads... nor a second-place finisher! *crazy laughter*
Ps. Mansell, did you steal the P2 trophy again?
