The Super Mario World MotorSports MicroSoft Duudes Driivers Council Foundation Ruling
Motion Number: 20080808/01
Subject: The Autódromo José Carlos Pace 128-Lap Incident and the Curious Case of Car #01
THE COUNCIL HAS AWOKEN FROM ITS FORTIFIED NAP BUNKER! SILENCE IN THE COURTROOM! Bowser has been removed from the back row for chewing on the microphone cables, and Yoshi is currently occupying the stenographer seat! We have examined the exhibits from the Brazilian round, where Romain Dumas (#07) somehow conquered 128 laps in 2:57:26.069 of pure chaos, while our brave duude Fernando Horta (#01) managed precisely ONE lap before his Audi R10 spontaneously decided to test the structural integrity of the Interlagos barriers!
Exhibit A: The timing sheets show 16 starters and absolute madness across three separate prototype and GT classes. Timo Bernhard hounded Dumas to the flag with a gap of barely 23 seconds after nearly three hours of racing, while Horta set a blistering 2:00.189 on his solitary tour before retiring to the paddock to complain about phantom traffic cones placed by Luigi!
Exhibit B: Witnesses report that Horta was distracted by a passing power-up box on the main straight and attempted to collect a Super Mushroom instead of braking for Turn 1. The telemetry confirms zero aerodynamic downforce was applied because Fernando was too busy shouting at a Koopa Troopa.
Therefore, after heavy deliberation involving three extra lives and a consultation with Princess Peach, the Council hereby rules that Dumas keeps the trophy, Bernhard gets a silver star, and Horta's single lap is officially classified as a tactical recon mission to inspect the hot dog stand. No further appeals will be heard because Mario has lost the keys to the filing cabinet. Case closed!
Fred (#01 crew): Look, he didn't crash, he just parked it early to catch the World 1-2 fireworks.
Barney (#01 crew): Rubbish, he dropped his controller down the sofa cushion.
Ps. tib, stop laughing at the back or we will send Bowser after your gearbox!
