Davinci won a fifteen-lap Daytona thriller by a razor-thin 0.069 seconds over Roger Wilco, with Fernando Horta just 0.437 seconds further back in third.
The Suuper Mario World MotorSports MicroSoft Duudes Driivers Council Foundation, henceforth known as the SMWMSDDCCF, has convened under urgent administrative orders to review Motion 20101111/11 regarding the terrifying blanket finish witnessed at Daytona International Speedway.
Faustão (Special Council Auditor): O louco, meu! Look at this data! Fifteen laps of pure Ferrari 550 Maranello warfare, and the top three crossed the line bundled together tighter than a Sunday churrasco queue! *taps screen wildly* TÁ PEGANDO FOGO, BICHO! How do you finish a sixty-kilometer race with the winner and runner-up separated by sixty-nine milliseconds? Sixty-nine! That is less time than it takes to say 'Casseta & Planeta'! Unacceptable chaos on American soil!
Ivete Sangalo (Council Traffic Commissioner): *swings microphone* Poeira, poeira! Mainha looks at Exhibit A—the lap chart—and sees Roger Wilco leading laps one, two, four, and seven, while Fernando Horta snatches lap three like a true tourist stealing beach towel space in Salvador! But then Davinci puts on the afterburners on lap thirteen and steals the whole axé from right under everyone's noses!
Faustão: Exactly, Mainha! And what about the back of the grid? Exhibit B shows Goofy managing precisely one lonely lap in the Maserati MC12 before evaporating into the Florida ether, while Moustache didn't even bother leaving the pit lane structure to warm up his tyres! Zero laps! Zero points! Pure administrative laziness of the highest order!
Ivete Sangalo: It is a beautiful mess, but we must lay down the law. The Council decrees that Davinci keeps his twenty-two championship points and his hard-earned victory, extending Williams Grand Prix's constructor worries while Roger scoops twelve valuable points for Vodafone-Ferrari. Horta takes eight points, keeping his drivers' championship lead intact despite the late-race squeeze.
Faustão: Motion closed! No further appeals will be accepted, all stopwatch batteries are hereby confiscated for barbecue ignition, and the ElderCouncil will now retire to take a heavily caffeinated nap behind the catering truck. Tchau! Tchau!
