0 laps completed by our brave duudes in the #01 Audi R10, and already the paddock is treating this masterclass in vanishing as a tragedy of Shakespearean proportions. Tomas Enge steered his #07 Aston Martin Racing Dome S102 to an astonishing victory across 7 laps in 0:15:10.522, while Fernando Horta simply decided that experiencing Istanbul Park was vastly overrated.
2007 Audi Sport N.America issued a press release this morning that reads as follows: The team was severely harmed by these actions, specifically the unforgivable fact that our car refused to acknowledge the existence of the racetrack. Executive Director Eurico Maluf has confirmed that an internal investigation will be launched into why our tyres remained entirely pristine while everyone else wasted rubber. We demand a recount, a fresh pot of coffee, and an immediate disqualification of anyone who actually managed to cross the finish line.
Post-Race Press Gaggle
Barry Cade (Daily Paddock Banter): Mr. Maluf, considering Fernando achieved precisely zero laps and finished dead last behind a retired Corvette, would you call this a strategic masterclass or sheer embarrassment?
Executive Director Eurico Maluf (FormulaDuude Organization): Caspita! Bravissimo! It is neither, my friend! It is a profound philosophical statement against the concept of distance! Our pilotti are simply ahead of their time, Gara!
Ima Nutcase (Skidmark Weekly): Does this mean the #01 car is officially classified as a museum exhibit now?
Executive Director Eurico Maluf (FormulaDuude Organization): For dios mio, stop asking stupid questions before I send you to Radial Leste traffic on a bicycle!
