Session 8920 - Mount Panorama Circuit, Australia

October 04, 2026 01:16pm

Race

Quick Stats

  • Track Length: 6.216 km
  • Most Distance Covered: 8 laps, 49.728 km
  • Simulator Used: GTR2

Race report: That's Not a Lap: Bathurst Timing Fiasco Hands Poel the Win, Horta Hands Back His Podium

The Super Mario World MotorSport Timekeeping & Drop Bear Disputes Council (SMWMSTDBDC) has issued its ruling on Motion 20261004/01, filed by Fernando Horta against his own result. A driver protesting his own podium: a first in the history of the sport.

The facts of the case

Eight laps of Mount Panorama, thirty GT cars. Early in the race the timing loop forgot to count one crossing for 22 of the 30 cars. Only the eight cars at the back of the grid were counted properly, the #63 Corvette of Horta among them. The timing screen then published the following masterpiece:

  • Exhibit A: Ian Jolicoeur 1st, Drew Lidkea 2nd, Fernando Horta 3rd, all inside the first 18:15.
  • Exhibit B: David Poel, listed 9th with 19:22.112, because nobody showed him the chequered flag at the end of his real 8th lap, so he politely drove a 9th. Fifteen others did the same.
  • Exhibit C: Chris Durand, David Canavan, Bruno Said, Eric Marecki, Brad Merys and Bjorn Hehmann, classified 25th to 30th and one lap down, after finishing on the same lap as everybody else.
  • Exhibit D: the "fastest lap of the race", a 2:05.795 by Johnny Lugnuts, set on that bonus lap, after his race was already over.

Expert witness Mick "Crocodile" Dundee, shown the 19:22.112 of Exhibit B, laughed. "That's not a race time." Then he pointed at the 17:15.010 the council had worked out from Poel's real crossing. "That's a race time."

Testimony of the plaintiff, who is also the accused

Fernando Horta (#63, Corvette Racing): "Let me be very clear: I did not finish third. I started 29th and the first lap was bumper cars, everybody wanted a piece of the Corvette. Then at the end of lap 2, at The Chase, David Canavan arrived like a cruise missile with no guidance system and threw me out of the track. I came out of that dead last with a bent car, and spent the rest of the race fighting my own teammate Christian Hamilton like two cousins fighting for the last coxinha at a birthday party. My best lap was 2:11.400, which is 5.348 seconds slower than the fastest lap of the race. Per lap. A podium given by a broken stopwatch is like a Rolex bought on 25 de Março street: it shines, but everybody knows. On track I crossed the line right ahead of Chris Durand. That is 19th. Give me my 19th."

David Canavan (Schubert Motorsport): "The BMW was set up in Munich with the Autobahn mode on. Nobody told the car about The Chase. I sent a fax to Bavaria." He finished 21st, 1.912s behind the car he launched.

Christian Hamilton (#62, Corvette Racing): "Cousins? He spent the whole race in my mirrors with half a car, and I still could not get rid of him. I need a new teammate or new mirrors." Hamilton finished 27th, 4.787s behind Horta.

David Poel (Spyker Squadron): "I crossed the line, no flag. So I did one more lap. When I came back the screen said I was ninth. Nine laps for the price of eight, and they give me ninth."

Ruling

Under rule number 8/9 of the Unofficial Rulebook to rule them all, the council rebuilt the classification from each car's crossing at the end of its real 8th lap. Everybody did 8 laps.

  1. David Poel (Spyker C8 Spyder GT2-R), 17:15.010
  2. Johnny Lugnuts (JMB Racing Ferrari F430 GT2), +4.847s
  3. Thiago Canola (Flying Lizard Porsche 996 GT3-RSR), +7.187s

Johnny Lugnuts' 2:05.795 is struck from the record, and the fastest lap goes to Lou Masciarelli with 2:06.052, on his way to 11th. The former podium of Jolicoeur, Lidkea and Horta becomes 17th, 18th and 19th, and the six cars "one lap down" are back on the lead lap. The motion is granted, the plaintiff loses, and he is very happy about it.

The ElderCouncil then adjourned to Mount Panorama with Mr. Dundee, two torches and a butterfly net to look for the missing lap. At the time of publication they had found one drop bear, a hubcap from the #63 Corvette and no lap.

Disclaimer: This is a fictional, satirical report of a offline race against AI-driven opponents. All characters are fictional. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Classification

Position Driver Team Car Laps Gap Grid Best Lap
1 USA DAVID POEL SPYKER SQUADRON SPYKER C8 SPYDER GT2-R 8 0:17:15.010 2 2:06.997
2 USA JOHNNY LUGNUTS JMB RACING FERRARI F430 GT2 8 + 04.847 5 2:06.889
3 Brazil THIAGO CANOLA FLYING LIZARD MOTORSPORT PORSCHE 996 GT3-RSR 8 + 07.187 3 2:07.715
4 USA SIMON GOODWIN HEXIS RACING ASTON MARTIN DBRS9 8 + 08.037 1 2:08.669
5 USA DANIEL WESTLAKE PHOENIX RACING AUDI R8 GT3 LMS 8 + 09.215 6 2:07.106
6 USA SOL LEUNG REITER ENGINEERING LAMBORGHINI GALLARDO LP560 8 + 09.701 10 2:06.672
7 USA GREGORY MYERS KISSLING MOTORSPORT CHEVROLET CORVETTE ZO6R GT3 8 + 10.753 7 2:07.918
8 USA TRACY NOLTE AF CORSE FERRARI F430 GT2 8 + 20.395 15 2:07.988
9 USA ROY SIMMONS ROCKETSPORTS RACING JAGUAR XKR GT 8 + 28.358 12 2:08.904
10 USA GUP DOUGLAS BMW MOTORSPORT BMW E46 M3 GTR 8 + 29.872 16 2:08.426
11 USA LOU MASCIARELLI JMB RACING FERRARI F430 GT2 8 + 30.608 14 2:06.052
12 USA ANDREW WERNER SPYKER SQUADRON SPYKER C8 SPYDER GT2-R 8 + 34.044 13 2:08.300
13 USA AL MARIMON MATECH MUSTANG RACING FORD MUSTANG FR500-GT 8 + 37.843 19 2:06.776
14 USA KURTIS CHANDLER SCHUBERT MOTORSPORT BMW Z4 GT3 8 + 38.463 4 2:06.755
15 USA ROBERT OTTO DRAYSON RACING ASTON MARTIN VANTAGE GT2 8 + 40.753 8 2:09.776
16 USA RICH HROMIN MATECH MUSTANG RACING FORD MUSTANG FR500-GT 8 + 45.596 17 2:08.415
17 Canada IAN JOLICOEUR RAHAL LETTERMAN RACING BMW E92 M3 GTR 8 + 52.315 27 2:09.050
18 USA DREW LIDKEA HEXIS RACING ASTON MARTIN DBRS9 8 + 53.379 25 2:10.312
19 Brazil FERNANDO HORTA CORVETTE RACING CHEVROLET CORVETTE C6-R GT2 8 + 53.892 29 2:11.400
20 USA CHRIS DURAND GRAVITY RACING MOSLER MT900R 8 + 55.141 11 2:08.932
21 United Kingdom DAVID CANAVAN SCHUBERT MOTORSPORT BMW Z4 GT3 8 + 55.804 18 2:09.502
22 USA JACK NEWTON ERG MOTORSPORT MARCOS LM600 8 + 56.164 23 2:09.829
23 USA VLADO KENATS MULTIMATIC MOTORSPORT PANOZ ESPERANTE GTLM 8 + 56.440 28 2:06.564
24 USA BRUNO SAID FLYING LIZARD MOTORSPORT PORSCHE 996 GT3-RSR 8 + 57.000 9 2:08.305
25 USA ERIC MARECKI PHOENIX RACING AUDI R8 GT3 LMS 8 + 57.579 20 2:11.680
26 USA JARROD KEEN DRAYSON RACING ASTON MARTIN VANTAGE GT2 8 + 58.093 30 2:12.174
27 USA CHRISTIAN HAMILTON CORVETTE RACING CHEVROLET CORVETTE C6-R GT2 8 + 58.679 26 2:11.174
28 USA GILLES CHEVRIER AF CORSE FERRARI F430 GT2 8 + 59.199 24 2:07.466
29 USA BRAD MERYS CHAMBERLAIN MOTORSPORT TVR T400R 8 + 59.781 21 2:12.415
30 USA BJÖRN HEHMANN GRAVITY RACING MOSLER MT900R 8 + 01:00.294 22 2:12.362

Lap Chart

Position at the end of every lap, FERNANDO HORTA highlighted. Hover a line or a name to follow a driver, click or tap to keep it highlighted; dashed lines are cars that retired.

12345678GridFinish BJÖRN HEHMANN 2230 BJÖRN HEHMANN BRAD MERYS 2129 BRAD MERYS GILLES CHEVRIER 2428 GILLES CHEVRIER CHRISTIAN HAMILTON 2627 CHRISTIAN HAMILTON JARROD KEEN 3026 JARROD KEEN ERIC MARECKI 2025 ERIC MARECKI BRUNO SAID 924 BRUNO SAID VLADO KENATS 2823 VLADO KENATS JACK NEWTON 2322 JACK NEWTON DAVID CANAVAN 1821 DAVID CANAVAN CHRIS DURAND 1120 CHRIS DURAND DREW LIDKEA 2518 DREW LIDKEA IAN JOLICOEUR 2717 IAN JOLICOEUR RICH HROMIN 1716 RICH HROMIN ROBERT OTTO 815 ROBERT OTTO KURTIS CHANDLER 414 KURTIS CHANDLER AL MARIMON 1913 AL MARIMON ANDREW WERNER 1312 ANDREW WERNER LOU MASCIARELLI 1411 LOU MASCIARELLI GUP DOUGLAS 1610 GUP DOUGLAS ROY SIMMONS 129 ROY SIMMONS TRACY NOLTE 158 TRACY NOLTE GREGORY MYERS 77 GREGORY MYERS SOL LEUNG 106 SOL LEUNG DANIEL WESTLAKE 65 DANIEL WESTLAKE SIMON GOODWIN 14 SIMON GOODWIN THIAGO CANOLA 33 THIAGO CANOLA JOHNNY LUGNUTS 52 JOHNNY LUGNUTS DAVID POEL 21 DAVID POEL FERNANDO HORTA 2919 FERNANDO HORTA

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Mount Panorama Circuit Mount Panorama Circuit