1. That is the number of overall positions Chris Dyson claimed at the end of a grueling, sun-baked afternoon at Sebring International Raceway, bringing his #16 Porsche RS Spyder Evo home after eighty-one laps of absolute mechanical poetry.
While the rest of the paddock slowly tore itself to pieces across the bumpy Florida tarmac, our garage was busy calculating tyre degradation and dodging wandering Brazilian prototypes. If you looked closely at the timing screens during the opening laps, you might have spotted a certain #01 Audi briefly pretending it could lead a race before gravity and common sense caught up with it.
Alan Donatellofson (Crew Chief): Look, the car is fast for about twelve laps if you don't use the brakes, steering, or throttle. Fernando tried to explore uncharted aerodynamic theories in turn one, which mostly involved redistributing carbon fibre across three zip codes. Brilliant strategy if your sponsor is a recycling plant.
Down in the Dyson camp, however, everything went according to plan. Eighty-one laps completed in 2:20:02.216, leaving Gil de Ferran and Peter Kox to fight over the remaining scraps of the podium like stray dogs behind a butcher shop. Meanwhile, Fernando's afternoon came to a screeching halt on lap 13, presumably because he heard the catering tent was serving cold Brahma and lost all professional focus.
Alan Donatellofson (Crew Chief): Did we win? Yes. Did we spend any time inspecting whatever wreckage Horta left on the back straight? Absolutely not, we had champagne to chill and actual racing to finish.
Ps. Wilco
