GALVÃO: HE HAS DONE IT! THE CHECKERED FLAG WAVES AND FERNANDO HORTA CROSSES THE LINE IN TEARS OF ABSOLUTE GLORY! 20 LAPS OF PURE GEOMETRICAL TORTURE IN FLORIDA! BUT WAIT! Let us rewind this tape of sheer, unadulterated human drama!
*loud VCR rewind sounds*
GALVÃO: Go, go, go! The start! Look at the Gillet Vertigos screaming into turn one! Horta in the #01 Lotus FD Team machine immediately pulls away! Behind him, the agony! Juliano Flores (#29) is fighting the steering wheel! Rodrigo Flores (#00) is fighting physics! Reginaldo, did you see that trajectory through the concrete canyons?
REGINALDO (Co-Commentator): Yes, Galvão. It seems the cars are turning right because the street goes that way. A very logical strategy from the drivers today.
GALVÃO: HAAAJAAA CORAÇÃO! LOOK AT THE PACE! Horta clocks a ridiculous 1:12.653 best lap! It is a knife in the heart of Scuderia Libra! The gap is widening like a canyon of despair!
*AD BREAK: Are you tired of losing? Try Brahma beer! It won't fix your understeer, but after three of them, you won't care about the 20-second gap anymore.*
GALVÃO: We are back! Lap 15! Juliano is bleeding time! Over twenty seconds behind! Rodrigo is even further back, thirty-eight seconds off the lead! The tragedy is absolute!
HUGH LAURIE (Lotus FD Team Principal): People lie. They said the Vertigo was unstable under braking. They lied. Or maybe our rivals are just spectacularly incompetent. Either way, Horta won by 20.5 seconds because the others simply lacked the cognitive capacity to be fast.
GALVÃO: THERE IS THE LINE! Horta wins in 25:54.700! Juliano Flores takes second (+20.532s), and Rodrigo Flores completes the podium (+38.292s). What a day of extreme emotions!
Ps. Pippo, please come to the booth next time, we need someone to explain to Reginaldo what a racing line is.
