Fernando Horta absolutely humiliated the rest of the field on the sun-baked concrete of St. Petersburg, converting twenty laps of pure Gillet Vertigo terror into a twenty-second victory over Juliano Flores while executive director Eurico Maluf looked on from the pit wall with a clipboard full of parking tickets.
(Kent Komeu - The Punning Herald) Fernando, twenty seconds clear in a Vertigo around a street circuit while Juliano chased shadows—did you smuggle extra horsepower through customs again?
Fernando Horta (Driver): Look, Kent, there is no muamba here, just pure riograndense talent and a car that refuses to stay straight unless I beg it. We put twelve points in the bag and that is all that matters.
(R.U. Serious - Daily Weekly) Executive Director Eurico Maluf was spotted measuring your rear wing with a very small ruler after the checkered flag; are we expecting a penalty before dinner?
Fernando Horta (Driver): Eurico can measure whatever he wants as long as he does not touch my tires. The man spends half his day looking for his reading glasses and the other half trying to figure out why Rodrigo Flores finished on the podium.
(Livio Orificio - AOLUOLBOL) Juliano Flores said your fastest lap of 1:12.653 was practically illegal and that Scuderia Libra is launching a formal investigation into your steering wheel buttons.
Fernando Horta (Driver): Tell Juliano he can investigate my rear bumper all he wants since that was the only part of my car he saw for twenty laps! *laughs loudly while adjusting his team cap*
(Eurico Maluf - FormulaDuude Organization) *taps microphone aggressively* Quiet down, all of you. The official results stand, the Gillet Vertigo is technically a motor vehicle under rule 440-B, and I have a lunch reservation at a seafood place near Radial Leste that I cannot miss.
