Fernando Horta secured a victory entirely built on administrative paperwork at Circuit de Spa-Francorchamps as all three Maserati MC12 entries failed to complete a single metre before recording a disqualification or DNF.
Fernando Horta (#01 driver): Duuuuude, why are the lights not green? Where is the track? I am staring at a wall!
President Luca di Guevara (Scuderia Libra Boss): GARA! CASPITA! ZERO LAPS?! Where is the winning?! You parked the #27 Maserati in the gravel before selecting first gear, you absolute imbecile!
Fernando Horta (#01 driver): Look, Luca, the car weighs three tons and the engine sounds like an angry blender, what do you want from me?
President Luca di Guevara (Scuderia Libra Boss): FOR DIOS MIO! I WANT LA VITTORIA! Not a disqualification! Bravissimo at failing, pilotti di merda!
Dave (#49 crew): Hey, don't look at us, our #49 Maserati didn't even leave pit lane because we forgot where the keys were.
Fernando Horta (#01 driver): At least we saved on tyre wear, right? Zero degradation all afternoon!
President Luca di Guevara (Scuderia Libra Boss): SILENZIO! I am calling my mother to cry about this gearbox!
