Castle Combe, Wiltshire. Some drivers spend ten laps carefully managing tires, nursing fuel loads, and plotting intricate passing maneuvers through chicanes. Our brave duude, however, looked at his P16 starting slot in the Chevrolet Corvette C6-R GT2, decided that sixteen cars ahead of him were simply an obstacle course designed for his personal amusement, and treated a full ten-lap feature race like an absolute clearance sale.
What the numbers say
Fernando Horta took a comprehensive, steamrolling victory, completing the ten-lap tour in 0:10:46.483. Bruno Said brought his Flying Lizard Porsche 996 home in second place, though calling it 'home' feels overly generous given he crossed the line a staggering 31.071 seconds behind our winner. That is not a gap; that is an entire postal district.
David Canavan grabbed the final step of the podium in the Schubert Motorsport BMW Z4, finishing nearly 33 seconds adrift of Horta, just ahead of Martin Chevrier's Panoz. Further down the order, thirty-one other cars engaged in various states of high-speed survival, with Sol Leung and Christian Hamilton suffering early DNFs after three laps of sheer adrenaline overload.
Now, let us gaze upon the stopwatch and question our life choices. Horta hammered in an astonishing fastest lap of 1:00.386. Bruno Said's best Porsche lap was a 1:05.426. Let that sink in: our duude was nearly five seconds a lap faster than the entire front row on pure pace. If he had stopped for a quick cup of tea and a scone on lap five, he still probably would have won by ten seconds.
As for how the lead changed hands from Bruno Said's pole position: we cannot tell you with any precision, primarily because the timing screen was being used as a coaster by lap four while the pit crew watched in silent awe.
Quotes
Fernando Horta (Corvette Racing, winner): Sixteen cars to pass? Psh, easy warm-up. By lap three I had already introduced my front bumper to half the GT2 grid. The Corvette felt like it was coated in Teflon and propelled by solid rocket boosters. Hand me the champagne and let's go find where they hid the biscuits.
Bruno Said (Flying Lizard Motorsport, 2nd): Started on pole, thought I had a clean track ahead of me, and then a yellow Corvette appeared in my mirrors like an unpaid tax bill. I tried to defend, but he drove past me so fast my Porsche felt like it was reversing in slow motion.
David Canavan (Schubert Motorsport, 3rd): Third place! A podium! Though admittedly, watching Fernando carve through the pack from sixteenth felt less like a motor race and more like dodging a freight train with no brakes.
Martin Chevrier (Multimatic Motorsport, 4th): Fourth in a Panoz is a fantastic result, mainly because I stayed far enough away from the #10063 Corvette to keep my carbon fiber intact. That man is an absolute menace.
The council investigates
The Super Mario World MotorSports Offline Solo Sessions Castle Combe Deca-Lap Duude Foundation (SMWMSOSSCCDLDF) has reviewed the telemetry while passing around a lukewarm box of donuts and issued the following binding decrees:
- Motion 20170622/19: the five-second penalty. The council notes that being five seconds a lap faster than everyone else in a ten-lap race is unsportsmanlike conduct of the highest order. Future entries for Horta must include towing a caravan or driving with one hand tied behind his back.
- Motion 20170622/20: the mysterious DNF club. Sol Leung and Christian Hamilton managed just three laps before retiring to the shadow realm. The council suspects they simply ran out of courage watching the Corvette approach in their mirrors.
So what now?
Another masterclass in yellow-car aerodynamics at Castle Combe. The timing monitors are glowing red, the podium has been claimed, and the rest of the grid is frantically checking their suspension setups.
Next time, the saga continues…
Ps. Dave, seriously, we are begging you now. Even a ten-lap race needs someone to anchor the very back so Horta doesn't get lonely down there! Come back!
