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Race report: Monza Radio Remix: Horta Taps Out on Lap Two

Ryan Briscoe took overall victory at Monza for Penske Racing, completing 67 laps in 1:40:23.840 as Fernando Horta retired his Audi R10 on lap two.

Fernando Horta (#01): Flying down the Rettifilo. The car feels lighter than usual, almost like half the engine components were tapped for mana and never untapped for the start.

Shivan Dragon (#01 crew): That is because you are driving a diesel prototype like a red aggressive creature without haste, Fernando. Your best lap was a two-minute flat. A basic Forest moves faster than that.

Fernando Horta (#01): I am braking for Seconda Variante now. Something in the rear suspension made a dry crunching sound like a creature spell getting countered at instant speed.

Shivan Dragon (#01 crew): You slammed the curb at two hundred kilometres per hour, you useless goblin. That sound was your rear axle entering the graveyard. We have zero mana left in the pool to pay for your stupidity.

Fernando Horta (#01): The engine died completely near Lesmo one. I am coasting slowly towards the grass. Should I attempt a system restart or sacrifice a permanent?

Shivan Dragon (#01 crew): Do not sacrifice anything. You have already sacrificed our entire team championship standing for two red mana and a useless pit stop. Just step out of the cockpit before I pay red mana to give myself plus-one plus-zero and fly over there to throw you into the Parabolica sand trap.

Fernando Horta (#01): Is there any chance Lucas Luhr in the sister car can lend us a spare suspension upright? We are representing Audi Sport North America together.

Shivan Dragon (#01 crew): Lucas is currently running third overall setting 1:26 lap times. He does not know who you are, nor does he wish to share his sideboards with a driver who draws two laps and discards his entire career into the gravel.

Fernando Horta (#01): My steering wheel monitor is displaying a total race distance of eleven kilometres. Is there a mulligan rule in the FIA sporting code?

Shivan Dragon (#01 crew): There is no mulligan for lack of talent. Put the wheel back on the quick-release column, turn off the radio, and walk back to the paddock through the trees like an exiled token.

Fernando Horta (#01): I can see Terry Borcheller in the Aston Martin pulling away in second place. How is a GT1 vehicle comfortably out-pacing our prototype?

Shivan Dragon (#01 crew): Because Terry plays with actual land cards, whereas you brought a deck consisting entirely of misprints and false promises. Park the Audi before the block melts into sligh debris.

Fernando Horta (#01): The Italian marshals are waving flags at me. I think they want an autograph.

Shivan Dragon (#01 crew): They want you to clear your burned carcass off the racing line so real pilots can finish sixty-seven laps without stepping on you. End turn, Fernando. End turn forever.

Ps. Liz, if you are reading this, please send a creature with flying to lift this Audi out of the woods.

Disclaimer: This is a fictional, satirical report of a offline race against AI-driven opponents. All characters are fictional. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Classification

Position	Class		Driver	Team	Car	Laps	Gap	Best Lap
1	LMP2		RYAN BRISCOE	PENSKE RACING	PORSCHE RS SPYDER EVO	67	1:40:23.840	1:26.586
1	GT1		TERRY BORCHELLER	BELL MOTORSPORTS	ASTON MARTIN DBR9	67	+ 11.709	1:26.854
1	LMP1		LUCAS LUHR	AUDI SPORT NORTH AMERICA	AUDI R10	67	+ 13.995	1:26.850
2	LMP2		GIL DE FERRAN	DE FERRAN RACING	ACURA ARX-01B	67	+ 36.152	1:27.217
2	LMP1		TIMO BERNHARD	LM24 AUDI SPORT TEAM JOEST	AUDI R15 TDI LM24H	67	+ 54.473	1:26.878
2	GT1		OLIVIER BERETTA	CORVETTE RACING	CHEVROLET CORVETTE C6-R	66	+ 1 LAP	1:27.097
3	LMP1		TOM KRISTENSEN	LM24 AUDI SPORT TEAM JOEST	AUDI R15 TDI LM24H	66	+ 1 LAP	1:27.705
4	LMP1		CHRISTIAN KLIEN	PEUGEOT V12 HDI FAP	PEUGEOT 908	66	+ 1 LAP	1:27.803
3	LMP2		PATRICK LONG	PENSKE RACING	PORSCHE RS SPYDER EVO	66	+ 1 LAP	1:27.981
5	LMP1		VITANTONIO LIUZZI	SCUDERIA TORO ROSSO	DOME S102	65	+ 2 LAPS	1:28.531
3	GT1		P. HOOKS	HOWARD BOSS MOTORSPORTS	MASERATI MC12	65	+ 2 LAPS	1:28.796
1	GT2		DIRK WERNER	FARNBACHER LOLES	PORSCHE 997 GT3	63	+ 4 LAPS	1:31.564
2	GT2		JAIME MELO	RISI COMPETIZIONE	FERRARI F430 GT	63	+ 4 LAPS	1:32.102
3	GT2		JIM TAFEL	TAFEL RACING	FERRARI F430 GT	62	+ 5 LAPS	1:32.704
4	GT2		JOHN PERRIN	PERRIN PERFORMANCE	PONTIAC GTO-R	62	+ 5 LAPS	1:32.987
6	LMP1		FERNANDO HORTA	AUDI SPORT NORTH AMERICA	AUDI R10	2	DNF	2:00.143

Fastest Lap Progression

Every time the race's fastest lap was beaten, from lap 2 (lap 1 is a standing start).

Lap Chart

Position at the end of every lap, FERNANDO HORTA highlighted. Hover a line or a name to follow a driver, click or tap to keep it highlighted; dashed lines are cars that retired.

Leaders

1 lead change over 67 laps.

Gaps

Time behind at the end of every lap. The scale stops at about one lap (1:39.501): lines break where a car drops further back. Hover or tap a line to follow a driver.

Lap by Lap

Each lap's notable moments, quiet stretches grouped; tap a row for the full order with lap times and gaps. The logs don't record pit stops: they're worked out from lap times, so a spin that costs as much time can read as one.

Related Images

Audi Sport North America, Audi R10 #7001, Driven By Fernando Horta

Audi Sport North America, Audi R10 #7002, Driven By Lucas Luhr

Penske Racing, Porsche Rs Spyder Evo #8005, Driven By Ryan Briscoe

Penske Racing, Porsche Rs Spyder Evo #8006, Driven By Patrick Long

Risi Competizione, Ferrari F430 Gt #8062, Driven By Jaime Melo

Tafel Racing, Ferrari F430 Gt #8073, Driven By Jim Tafel

Farnbacher Loles, Porsche 997 Gt3 #8087, Driven By Dirk Werner

Lm24 Audi Sport Team Joest, Audi R15 Tdi Lm24h #9001, Driven By Tom Kristensen

Lm24 Audi Sport Team Joest, Audi R15 Tdi Lm24h #9003, Driven By Timo Bernhard

Autodromo Nazionale Monza