{ Fernando Horta } → Racing Games

Race report: S.U.P.E.R.F.D.U.U.D.E.S.C.O.U.N.C.I.L. Ruling on Motion 20240218/01

26. That is the official finishing position assigned to Fernando Horta at Daytona International Speedway—a race in which precisely 24 cars crossed the starting line.

The Supreme United Panel for Executive Racing & FD Universal Disciplinary Enforcement Safety Council (S.U.P.E.R.F.D.U.U.D.E.S.C.O.U.N.C.I.L.) convened this morning to deliberate on Motion 20240218/01 regarding severe mathematical glitches discovered in the official 200-lap timing database.

Having thoroughly audited the official telemetry logs, the Council submits the following binding facts as Exhibits:

Exhibit A: Matteo Bobbi piloted the #01 BMS Scuderia Italia Ferrari 550 Maranello to a dominant victory, completing 200 laps in 2:41:19.380, finishing one lap ahead of Jamie Campbell-Walter in the #27 Creation Autosportif Lister Storm.

Exhibit B: Fernando Horta briefly disrupted paddock reality by leading the race from lap 4 through lap 11 in his #01 Williams Grand Prix Ferrari 550 Maranello, before his front suspension disintegrated on lap 16, resulting in a mandatory DNF.

Exhibit C: The official standings completely omit positions 23 and 25, ultimately categorizing Horta's 16-lap effort as 26th place. Telemetry confirms that two non-existent ghost vehicles were credited with finishing ahead of him.

During oral arguments, officials from Losel Racing provided expert testimony regarding the missing grid positions.

Samuel J. Lackson (Losel Racing Chief Steward): "I have had it with these motherf***ing arithmetic errors on this motherf***ing timing screen! You count up to twenty-two, skip twenty-three, jump to twenty-four, skip twenty-five, and drop a man in twenty-sixth? That ain't how math works, my duudes!"

Flavor Flav (Losel Racing Timing Executive): "Yeeeeeaaaah boy! Clock tickin', clock tockin', but somebody in the timing booth was cold lampin'! You can't just hand out P26 when there ain't even twenty-five cars on the track! Check the giant clock around my neck, boy!"

OFFICIAL RULING: Motion 20240218/01 is hereby upheld in part. The Council decrees that Horta's 26th-place classification shall stand as a administrative penalty for leading eight laps without prior written approval, while missing positions 23 and 25 are officially reclassified as wildlife preserves. The Council will now adjourn for karaoke.

Ps. Davinci, where are you?!

Disclaimer: This is a fictional, satirical report of a offline race against AI-driven opponents. All characters are fictional. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Classification

Position		Driver	Team	Car	Laps	Gap	Best Lap
1		MATTEO BOBBI	BMS SCUDERIA ITALIA	FERRARI 550 MARANELLO	200	2:41:19.380	0:47.013
2		JAMIE CAMPBELL-WALTER	CREATION AUTOSPORTIF	LISTER STORM	199	+ 1 LAP	0:47.072
3		TOM KRISTENSEN	REITER ENGINEERING	LAMBORGHINI MURCIELAGO R-GT	196	+ 4 LAPS	0:47.233
4		FABIO BABINI	G.P.C. GIESSE SQUADRA CORSE	FERRARI 575 GTC	195	+ 5 LAPS	0:47.442
5		FERNANDO SHAKA	BRAWN GP	FERRARI 550 MARANELLO	195	+ 5 LAPS	0:47.562
6		RUBENS BARRICHELLO	BRAWN GP	FERRARI 550 MARANELLO	195	+ 5 LAPS	0:47.638
7		DENNY HAMLIN	FEDEX TEAM	LAMBORGHINI MURCIELAGO R-GT	195	+ 5 LAPS	0:47.567
8		BRIAN VICKERS	RED BULL TEAM	LAMBORGHINI MURCIELAGO R-GT	195	+ 5 LAPS	0:47.749
9		DALE EARNHARDT JR	AMP ENERGY DRINK TEAM	LAMBORGHINI MURCIELAGO R-GT	194	+ 6 LAPS	0:47.666
10		ROGER WILCO	SCUDERIA LIBRA	LISTER STORM	194	+ 6 LAPS	0:47.649
11		TAYLOR	SENNA TRIBUTE	FERRARI 575 GTC	194	+ 6 LAPS	0:47.732
12		KEVIN HARVICK	REESES TEAM	LAMBORGHINI MURCIELAGO R-GT	194	+ 6 LAPS	0:47.986
13		MAX STANCO	ALDA COMPETITION	PORSCHE 911 GT2	193	+ 7 LAPS	0:47.745
14		ICKX	ROTHMANS RACING	LAMBORGHINI MURCIELAGO R-GT	193	+ 7 LAPS	0:47.890
15		PEPLEPEP	PAUL BELMONDO RACING	CHRYSLER VIPER GTS-R	192	+ 8 LAPS	0:47.902
16		XXX	OPEL PERFORMANCE CENTER	OPEL ASTRA V8 COUPE	187	+ 13 LAPS	0:49.784
17		KURT BUSCH	MILLER LITE TEAM	LAMBORGHINI MURCIELAGO R-GT	120	DNF (Engine)	0:47.843
18		BOBBY VERDON-ROE	CREATION AUTOSPORTIF	LISTER STORM	113	DNF (Collision)	0:47.380
19		KYLE PETTY	WELLS FARGO TEAM	LAMBORGHINI MURCIELAGO R-GT	106	DNF (Engine)	0:47.837
20		FELIPE MASSA	SCUDERIA FERRARI	FERRARI 550 MARANELLO	97	DNF (Collision)	0:47.529
21		EL LOCO	JPS RACING	PORSCHE 911 GT2	86	DNF (Engine)	0:47.821
22		PAUL BELMONDO	PAUL BELMONDO RACING	CHRYSLER VIPER GTS-R	79	DNF (Collision)	0:47.665
23		PAOLO RUBERTI	GRAHAM NASH MOTORSPORT	SALEEN S7-R	48	DNF (Engine)	0:48.525
24		FERNANDO HORTA	WILLIAMS GRAND PRIX	FERRARI 550 MARANELLO	16	DNF (Suspension)	0:47.675

Fastest Lap Progression

Every time the race's fastest lap was beaten, from lap 2 (lap 1 is a standing start).

Lap Chart

Position at the end of every lap, FERNANDO HORTA highlighted. Hover a line or a name to follow a driver, click or tap to keep it highlighted; dashed lines are cars that retired.

Leaders

3 lead changes over 200 laps.

Gaps

Time behind at the end of every lap. The scale stops at about one lap (0:50.716): lines break where a car drops further back. Hover or tap a line to follow a driver.

Lap by Lap

Each lap's notable moments, quiet stretches grouped; tap a row for the full order with lap times and gaps. The logs don't record pit stops: they're worked out from lap times (here a stop cost about 80 s, most of them on laps 16–19), so a spin that costs as much time can read as one.