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Race report: Sebring Press Conference: Horta Blames Tarmac and Tarmogoyf

Did Fernando Horta's #01 Audi R10 really give up the ghost after just three laps at Sebring, or was the Brazilian driver simply distracted by a rare Magic card summoned right on the apex of turn one?

The media room at Sebring International Raceway was buzzing with heavy gossip following Gil de Ferran's masterclass victory over 84 grueling laps in the #66 Acura ARX-02, finishing just 3.5 seconds ahead of Sascha Maassen's #06 Porsche. But everyone only wanted to talk about the early exit of our brave duude.

(Gossip Gazette - The Pit Lane Wire) Fernando, everybody in the paddock is saying you parked the #01 Audi after three laps because a Tarmogoyf spawned on the back straight and started eating your rear wing. Care to comment?

Fernando Horta (Driver #01): Look, man, it is completely absurd! It was not just any Tarmogoyf, it was a 7/8 with four card types in the graveyard because Mike Davies left his engine bits everywhere on lap two. What was I supposed to do? Drive right through a creature that gets bigger based on card types? My setup was ruined!

(Silvia Scalp - Card & Chassis Weekly) Right, but official timing shows you completed three laps before retiring in 13th place while Gil de Ferran cruised to take the LMP1 crown in 2:25:17. Was the Tarmogoyf stronger than your V12 diesel?

Fernando Horta (Driver #01): Absolutely! And do not even get me started on the mana curve of our pit strategy. We tapped out on lap one and never recovered. Total trash, man.

(Radio transcript - #01 Audi R10 pit wall, lap 2)
Skinner (#01 crew): Fernando, report! Are we pitting for tires or a counterspell?
Fernando Horta (#01 driver): MAN, I DO NOT KNOW! THE TRACK IS LITERALLY A JUND DECK!
Skinner (#01 crew): Just cast Wrath of God on the timing screen, it is the only way we stop De Ferran.

Ps. Moustache sends his regards from the gravel trap, muttering something about untapped lands and missing the braking point entirely.

Disclaimer: This is a fictional, satirical report of a offline race against AI-driven opponents. All characters are fictional. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Classification

Position	Class		Driver	Team	Car	Laps	Gap	Best Lap
1	LMP1		GIL DE FERRAN	2009 DE FERRAN RACING	ACURA ARX-02	84	2:25:17.791	1:40.812
1	LMP2		SASCHA MAASSEN	2007 PENSKE RACING	PORSCHE RS SPYDER EVO	84	+ 03.515	1:40.716
1	GT1		JOHNNY OCONNELL	2008 CORVETTE RACING	CORVETTE C6-R	84	+ 22.263	1:40.921
2	LMP1		NICOLAS MINASSIAN	2007 CREATION AUTOSPORTIF	CREATION CA06/H	83	+ 1 LAP	1:41.773
2	GT1		OLIVIER BERETTA	2008 CORVETTE RACING	CORVETTE C6-R	83	+ 1 LAP	1:41.689
3	LMP1		HIDEKI NODA	2009 ECO RACING	RADICAL SR10	83	+ 1 LAP	1:41.926
3	GT1		RICKARD RYDELL	2007 AM RACING	ASTON DBR9	82	+ 2 LAPS	1:42.171
2	LMP2		LUIS DIAZ	2009 FERNANDEZ RACING	ACURA ARX-01	82	+ 2 LAPS	1:42.507
4	LMP1		ALEX CAFFI	1999 DOYLE RISI	FERRARI 333 SP	81	+ 3 LAPS	1:42.192
3	LMP2		BUTCH LEITZINGER	2009 DYSON RACING	LOLA B09/86	79	+ 5 LAPS	1:46.684
4	LMP2		GUNNAR VAN DER STEUR	2009 VAN DER STEUR	RADICAL SR9	79	+ 5 LAPS	1:44.650
5	LMP1		FERNANDO HORTA	2007 AUDI SPORT N.AMERICA	AUDI R10	3	DNF	1:45.611
6	LMP1		MIKE DAVIES	1999 DOLLAHITE RACING	FERRARI 333 SP	2	DNF (Engine)	1:45.215

Fastest Lap Progression

Every time the race's fastest lap was beaten, from lap 2 (lap 1 is a standing start).

Lap Chart

Position at the end of every lap, FERNANDO HORTA highlighted. Hover a line or a name to follow a driver, click or tap to keep it highlighted; dashed lines are cars that retired.

Leaders

2 lead changes over 84 laps.

Gaps

Time behind at the end of every lap. The scale stops at about one lap (1:50.515): lines break where a car drops further back. Hover or tap a line to follow a driver.

Lap by Lap

Each lap's notable moments, quiet stretches grouped; tap a row for the full order with lap times and gaps. The logs don't record pit stops: they're worked out from lap times, so a spin that costs as much time can read as one.

Related Images

2007 Audi Sport N.america, Audi R10 #7001, Driven By Fernando Horta

2007 Penske Racing, Porsche Rs Spyder Evo #7006, Driven By Sascha Maassen

2007 Am Racing, Aston Dbr9 #7009, Driven By Rickard Rydell

2007 Creation Autosportif, Creation Ca06/h #7088, Driven By Nicolas Minassian

2008 Corvette Racing, Corvette C6-r #8003, Driven By Johnny Oconnell

2008 Corvette Racing, Corvette C6-r #8004, Driven By Olivier Beretta

2009 Eco Racing, Radical Sr10 #9010, Driven By Hideki Noda

2009 Fernandez Racing, Acura Arx-01 #9015, Driven By Luis Diaz

2009 Van Der Steur, Radical Sr9 #9019, Driven By Gunnar Van Der Steur

2009 Dyson Racing, Lola B09/86 #9020, Driven By Butch Leitzinger

2009 De Ferran Racing, Acura Arx-02 #9066, Driven By Gil De Ferran

1999 Doyle Risi, Ferrari 333 Sp #99012, Driven By Alex Caffi

1999 Dollahite Racing, Ferrari 333 Sp #99018, Driven By Mike Davies

Sebring International Raceway