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Race report: Spa-Francorchamps: Council Dismisses Protest Over Wilco' Sloth-Like Victory

Roger Wilco won the race at Spa-Francorchamps.

The Super Mario World MotorSports Council of Flemish Administrative Disputes (SMWMSCFAD) has issued its final decision regarding Motion 20170618/01, brought forward following a highly unusual Grand Prix in the Belgian Ardennes.

After reviewing the official timing screens, the Council notes the following exhibits:

• Exhibit A: Driver Davinci (#49, Losel Racing) recorded an astonishingly fast lap of 2:26.515, demonstrating massive pace before retiring on lap 5 with a DNF.
• Exhibit B: Driver Roger Wilco (#29, Scuderia Libra) completed all 6 laps to take the chequered flag in 24:25.146, despite a best lap of 2:47.398—a staggering 20.8 seconds slower than his rival's peak pace.

A formal protest was lodged suggesting that winning a race while moving at the speed of continental drift constitutes an offense to the spirit of speed.

However, Scuderia Libra's leadership was entirely unmoved by the telemetry.

President Luca di Guevara (Scuderia Libra): "Caspita! What is this rubbish? Gara is about crossing the line, not about showing off! Who cares if Roger drove like a nonna looking for her lost glasses? We completed the six laps! Davinci is in the barrier, yes? Bravissimo! Winning is winning, for dios mio! Give us the trophy and the heavy red wine!"

The Council agrees. While Davinci's speed was heroic, you cannot win a motor race from inside a tyre wall. The motion is denied, the classification stands, and the Council is now going to find some Belgian beer.

Ps. Wilco, please come back, we need someone to actually race this guy.

Disclaimer: This is a fictional, satirical report of a online race. No events described on this text are to be taken seriously, and by no means reflect the author or their views, quotes or situations. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Classification

Position		Driver	Team	Car	Laps	Gap	Best Lap
1		ROGER WILCO	SCUDERIA LIBRA	MASERATI MC12	6	0:24:25.146	2:47.398
2		DAVINCI	LOSEL RACING	MASERATI MC12	5	DNF	2:26.515

Fastest Lap Progression

Every time the race's fastest lap was beaten, from lap 2 (lap 1 is a standing start).

Lap Chart

Position at the end of every lap. Hover a line or a name to follow a driver, click or tap to keep it highlighted; dashed lines are cars that retired.

Leaders

1 lead change over 6 laps.

Gaps

Time behind at the end of every lap. The scale stops at about one lap (3:05.959): lines break where a car drops further back. Hover or tap a line to follow a driver.

Lap by Lap

Each lap's notable moments, quiet stretches grouped; tap a row for the full order with lap times and gaps. The logs don't record pit stops: they're worked out from lap times, so a spin that costs as much time can read as one.

Related Images

Scuderia Libra, Maserati Mc12 #6029, Driven By Roger Wilco

Losel Racing, Maserati Mc12 #10049, Driven By Davinci

Circuit De Spa-francorchamps