{ Fernando Horta } → Racing Games

Race report: Agony in the Tropics: Horta's Majestic Melodrama from the Bottom of Sepang

30. That is not just a random digit on a dirty pit board; it was the desolate, humid exile where Fernando Horta chose to reside for exactly half of the Sepang Grand Prix.

In the actual, high-stakes reality of the GT2 championship, Tracy Nolte steered the #51 AF Corse Ferrari F430 to a brilliant, nail-biting victory, holding off David Canavan’s charging BMW by just 1.6 seconds at the line. But further down the order, the atmosphere in the Corvette Racing garage was less "world championship" and more "tragic opera." Horta started 18th, immediately tooking a giant dive to 30th on the very first lap, and spent five agonizing laps glued to the rear bumper of Chuck Carter's Maserati before staging a slow, deeply depressing recovery to finish 21st. The team was heavily harmed by this sudden lack of pace.

Fernando Horta (#63): Alan, my soul is melting. This Corvette has the structural integrity of warm polenta. Why are we behind a Maserati that sounds like a broken blender? The tyres are screaming, Alan! They are singing a song of betrayal and rubber degradation!

Alan Donatellofson (#63 crew): Because you missed the braking point at Turn 4 by three business days, Fernando. Also, please stop crying on the radio, the moisture is going to short-circuit the telemetry.

Fernando Horta (#63): I can feel the tropical humidity dissolving my will to live! Every totozinho from behind feels like a knife in my chest!

Alan Donatellofson (#63 crew): That is actually just your seatbelt, mate. If you spent less time contemplating your mortality and more time hitting the apex, we might catch the Spyker. Currently, you are being outpaced by a guy named Johnny Lugnuts who is having a mechanical existential crisis of his own.

Fernando Horta (#63): Do not speak to me of Lugnuts! He has fallen to 29th! But look at us, we are rising! We are 24th! We are like a majestic, wounded eagle rising from the ashes of a burning sugarcane field!

Alan Donatellofson (#63 crew): You are a Corvette C6-R doing a 2:04.960 while the leader is running two seconds faster, Fernando. Let us not get poetic about passing three cars that simply spun into the gravel trap. Just bring the chassis back in one piece so I can go find a cold Brahma.

Fernando Horta (#63): *gasping* The finish line... it approaches like a cold, indifferent shroud. P21. We have conquered the abyss, Alan. We have looked into the dark and said: "Not today, Chuck Carter!"

Alan Donatellofson (#63 crew): Yes, brilliant. Truly a historic day for mid-table mediocrity. Park it near the garbage bins.

Ps. Pippo, please send some real coffee to the garage. Alan’s sarcasm is drying out my throat more than the Malaysian sun.

Disclaimer: This is a fictional, satirical report of a offline race against AI-driven opponents. All characters are fictional. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Classification

Position		Driver	Team	Car	Laps	Gap	Grid	Best Lap
1		TRACY NOLTE	AF CORSE	FERRARI F430 GT2	10	0:21:09.501	1	2:04.141
2		DAVID CANAVAN	SCHUBERT MOTORSPORT	BMW Z4 GT3	10	+ 01.687	5	2:05.580
3		MIKE SCOTT	SUN-RED RACING	SUNRED SR21	10	+ 04.251	3	2:05.900
4		JARROD KEEN	DRAYSON RACING	ASTON MARTIN VANTAGE GT2	10	+ 13.727	9	2:05.208
5		KENNY MERVIN	TEAM FALKEN TIRE	PORSCHE 997 GT3-RSR	10	+ 14.686	7	2:05.650
6		SOL LEUNG	REITER ENGINEERING	LAMBORGHINI GALLARDO LP560	10	+ 16.679	12	2:02.954
7		SIMON GOODWIN	HEXIS RACING	ASTON MARTIN DBRS9	10	+ 17.481	11	2:06.361
8		GREGORY MYERS	KISSLING MOTORSPORT	CHEVROLET CORVETTE ZO6R GT3	10	+ 17.974	4	2:05.260
9		EIRAN PARSONS	KISSLING MOTORSPORT	CHEVROLET CORVETTE ZO6R GT3	10	+ 18.462	8	2:05.238
10		IAN JOLICOEUR	RAHAL LETTERMAN RACING	BMW E92 M3 GTR	10	+ 19.083	23	2:03.956
11		KURTIS CHANDLER	SCHUBERT MOTORSPORT	BMW Z4 GT3	10	+ 27.375	13	2:05.547
12		ROY SIMMONS	ROCKETSPORTS RACING	JAGUAR XKR GT	10	+ 28.410	10	2:06.261
13		CHRIS MOSES	BMW MOTORSPORT	BMW E46 M3 GTR	10	+ 33.406	6	2:07.038
14		BRAD MERYS	CHAMBERLAIN MOTORSPORT	TVR T400R	10	+ 33.748	15	2:07.192
15		AL MARIMON	MATECH MUSTANG RACING	FORD MUSTANG FR500-GT	10	+ 34.253	21	2:06.265
16		MARTIN CHEVRIER	MULTIMATIC MOTORSPORT	PANOZ ESPERANTE GTLM	10	+ 34.620	30	2:05.035
17		DANIEL WESTLAKE	PHOENIX RACING	AUDI R8 GT3 LMS	10	+ 35.600	14	2:03.924
18		DAVID POEL	SPYKER SQUADRON	SPYKER C8 SPYDER GT2-R	10	+ 36.767	16	2:06.795
19		VINCENT LOI	REITER ENGINEERING	LAMBORGHINI GALLARDO LP560	10	+ 37.254	27	2:06.293
20		RICH HROMIN	MATECH MUSTANG RACING	FORD MUSTANG FR500-GT	10	+ 37.794	24	2:05.480
21		FERNANDO HORTA	CORVETTE RACING	CHEVROLET CORVETTE C6-R GT2	10	+ 38.999	18	2:04.960
22		LOU MASCIARELLI	JMB RACING	FERRARI F430 GT2	10	+ 39.829	17	2:06.342
23		CHRISTIAN HAMILTON	CORVETTE RACING	CHEVROLET CORVETTE C6-R GT2	10	+ 40.675	20	2:05.789
24		ANDREW WERNER	SPYKER SQUADRON	SPYKER C8 SPYDER GT2-R	10	+ 42.001	25	2:07.048
25		MITCH VAMOS	KRK RACING	VIPER COMPETITION COUPE	10	+ 42.446	19	2:04.797
26		MARTY UREN	RAHAL LETTERMAN RACING	BMW E92 M3 GTR	10	+ 44.080	29	2:06.407
27		ROBERT OTTO	DRAYSON RACING	ASTON MARTIN VANTAGE GT2	10	+ 45.503	28	2:07.113
28		THIAGO CANOLA	FLYING LIZARD MOTORSPORT	PORSCHE 996 GT3-RSR	10	+ 46.021	26	2:06.778
29		JOHNNY LUGNUTS	JMB RACING	FERRARI F430 GT2	10	+ 47.311	2	2:05.112
30		CHUCK CARTER	MASERATI CORSE	MASERATI TROFEO LIGHT	10	+ 47.832	22	2:06.121

Lap Chart

Position at the end of every lap, FERNANDO HORTA highlighted. Hover a line or a name to follow a driver, click or tap to keep it highlighted; dashed lines are cars that retired.

Related Images

Af Corse, Ferrari F430 Gt2 #9051, Driven By Tracy Nolte

Schubert Motorsport, Bmw Z4 Gt3 #8105, Driven By David Canavan

Sun-red Racing, Sunred Sr21 #7108, Driven By Mike Scott

Drayson Racing, Aston Martin Vantage Gt2 #9107, Driven By Jarrod Keen

Team Falken Tire, Porsche 997 Gt3-rsr #10054, Driven By Kenny Mervin

Reiter Engineering, Lamborghini Gallardo Lp560 #10071, Driven By Sol Leung

Hexis Racing, Aston Martin Dbrs9 #8090, Driven By Simon Goodwin

Kissling Motorsport, Chevrolet Corvette Zo6r Gt3 #8097, Driven By Gregory Myers

Kissling Motorsport, Chevrolet Corvette Zo6r Gt3 #8096, Driven By Eiran Parsons

Rahal Letterman Racing, Bmw E92 M3 Gtr #10092, Driven By Ian Jolicoeur

Schubert Motorsport, Bmw Z4 Gt3 #8104, Driven By Kurtis Chandler

Rocketsports Racing, Jaguar Xkr Gt #10088, Driven By Roy Simmons

Bmw Motorsport, Bmw E46 M3 Gtr #5052, Driven By Chris Moses

Chamberlain Motorsport, Tvr T400r #4074, Driven By Brad Merys

Matech Mustang Racing, Ford Mustang Fr500-gt #8059, Driven By Al Marimon

Multimatic Motorsport, Panoz Esperante Gtlm #6057, Driven By Martin Chevrier

Phoenix Racing, Audi R8 Gt3 Lms #9098, Driven By Daniel Westlake

Spyker Squadron, Spyker C8 Spyder Gt2-r #5095, Driven By David Poel

Reiter Engineering, Lamborghini Gallardo Lp560 #10070, Driven By Vincent Loi

Matech Mustang Racing, Ford Mustang Fr500-gt #8058, Driven By Rich Hromin

Corvette Racing, Chevrolet Corvette C6-r Gt2 #10063, Driven By Fernando Horta

Jmb Racing, Ferrari F430 Gt2 #8078, Driven By Lou Masciarelli

Corvette Racing, Chevrolet Corvette C6-r Gt2 #10062, Driven By Christian Hamilton

Spyker Squadron, Spyker C8 Spyder Gt2-r #5094, Driven By Andrew Werner

Krk Racing, Viper Competition Coupe #8066, Driven By Mitch Vamos

Rahal Letterman Racing, Bmw E92 M3 Gtr #10093, Driven By Marty Uren

Drayson Racing, Aston Martin Vantage Gt2 #9106, Driven By Robert Otto

Flying Lizard Motorsport, Porsche 996 Gt3-rsr #7084, Driven By Thiago Canola

Jmb Racing, Ferrari F430 Gt2 #8079, Driven By Johnny Lugnuts

Maserati Corse, Maserati Trofeo Light #5072, Driven By Chuck Carter

Sepang International Circuit