Losel's next moves: Albert Park confirmed - Drugs scandal

March 9, 2010 · by Dave

Season 03MediaPress Release

For the very first time, Losel Racing talks about the drugs scandal that kept racer Dave away from A1, past week.

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According to NYPD, the driver was busted after almost crashed his car on a standing cab.  A passing by witness stated that he saws a "genuine Paul Tracy's rear slamming", also known as "totozinho" against the cab. Mr. Cab driver, Juanito De La Rocha, called 911 right after the incident.Dave was found so drunk with drugs possession. He even tried to argue with it: "It’s not my fault this car is so bad! It sucks, but it’s not drug!", while refers to his own car - a 72' Brasilia in poor conditions.

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Officer Angelino, from NYPD, who performed the drugs bust,  stated that "His Brasilia was full of muambas", about the contrabanded items found inside the car (liquor bottles, suspicious stones, brahma packs, doritos, china made cellphones, DVDs and even some tamagotchis). Angelino informs that Dave will be penalized and charged for drugs possession, contraband and says "No one escapes from the law's arms!" while sips his cup of mocaccino.

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Meanwhile, Flavor Flav - Losel Racing's principal, tries to calm down the motorsports fans, informing that his sponsors will take care about the bail, all the fees and send some "prizes" to smooth all the situation, while winks and show his golden teeth.

Spinning the globe a little, Team Manager  Samuel J. Lackson announces that Losel chosed Porsche GT3 RSR as their main choice for NGT class.

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"The car is quite balanced and we don't wanna see some italian domination, so we choosed that german model, cause the jap one was a piece of crap, and no more TVRs around here, cause I'd rather to drive a truck instead that monster!" says Lackson.

The main driver intends to talk about the incident at press conference, when he'll be able to speak without being law-censored.

Stay tuned!

From the Formula Duude archive: an in-universe blog of a fantasy GTR2 league. Drivers, team bosses and quotes are parody, borrowed from pop culture.