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Race report: Tears on the St. Lawrence as Montreal Breaks Hearts

Williams Grand Prix Engineering issued a press release this morning that reads as follows:

It is with a soul cast into the deepest abyss of eternal sorrow, our collective spirit crushed beneath the merciless wheels of fate upon the icy shores of the St. Lawrence, that we must announce our defeat at the Circuit Gilles Villeneuve. Fourteen agonizing laps of blazing red Ferraris and shattered dreams have left our paddock drowned in an ocean of bitter, unrelenting tears. How can the heavens permit such cruelty? How can the timing screens mock our agony with a mere eight-second deficit when our very lives, our very honor, our very souls were out there bleeding on the asphalt? ToeJam shook his head, heavy with cosmic dread, muttering into his purple sneakers about the harsh vibrations of the universe, while Earl stared blankly at the wall, whispering that rubbin' might be racin' but crying is definitely living. We gave everything to the asphalt gods, and yet the chequered flag fell like a guillotine upon our neck. We are broken. We are undone. Someone please pass the tissues, for the night is dark and full of terrors.

Ps. Moustache, if you are reading this from whatever shadowy exile you currently inhabit, please come back and explain why the walls of Montreal hate us more than our own gearboxes do.

Disclaimer: This is a fictional, satirical report of a online race. No events described on this text are to be taken seriously, and by no means reflect the author or their views, quotes or situations. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Classification

Position		Driver	Team	Car	Laps	Gap	Best Lap	Points
1		ROGER WILCO	SCUDERIA LIBRA	FERRARI 360 GTC	14	0:24:31.065	1:41.961	21
2		FERNANDO HORTA	WILLIAMS GRAND PRIX ENGINEERING	FERRARI 360 GTC	14	+ 08.705	1:40.293	13
3		DAVINCI	LOSEL RACING	FERRARI 360 GTC	14	+ 01:22.813	1:43.904	8

Fastest Lap Progression

Every time the race's fastest lap was beaten, from lap 2 (lap 1 is a standing start).

Qualifying

Qualifying times as the race log recorded them.

Lap Chart

Position at the end of every lap, FERNANDO HORTA highlighted. Hover a line or a name to follow a driver, click or tap to keep it highlighted; dashed lines are cars that retired.

Leaders

1 lead change over 14 laps.

Gaps

Time behind at the end of every lap. The scale stops at about one lap (1:44.359): lines break where a car drops further back. Hover or tap a line to follow a driver.

Lap by Lap

Each lap's notable moments, quiet stretches grouped; tap a row for the full order with lap times and gaps. The logs don't record pit stops: they're worked out from lap times, so a spin that costs as much time can read as one.

Driver Standings

Position	Driver	Team	Points
1	FERNANDO HORTA	WILLIAMS GRAND PRIX ENGINEERING	79
2	ROGER WILCO	SCUDERIA LIBRA	65
3	DAVINCI	LOSEL RACING	48
4	GOOFY	MAPUA RACING	29

Team Standings

Position	Team	Points
1	SCUDERIA LIBRA	65
2 ▼1	WILLIAMS GRAND PRIX ENGINEERING	57
3	LOSEL RACING	48
4	MAPUA RACING	29
5	BORROWED B194	22

Related Images

Scuderia Libra, Ferrari 360 Gtc #9029, Driven By Roger Wilco

Williams Grand Prix Engineering, Ferrari 360 Gtc #10001, Driven By Fernando Horta

Losel Racing, Ferrari 360 Gtc #10049, Driven By Davinci

Circuit Gilles Villeneuve